This site has been a godsend for me. I love the chance to discuss different topics and of course the opportunity to study at my own pace and see results.
Unfortunately my recent experience in Japan (excluding Renshuu) hasn't been as wonderful. I was reading a post (I believe it was about 7 months ago) about whether or not Japanese cared about foreigners speaking the language or being interested in Japan which moved me to write this post. I 1st came to Japan 20 years ago (yeah that pretty much makes me an old fart), stayed 6 years and returned home (USA),came back the following year and stayed another 5 years (married a Japanese-national) and returned home then came back 6 years later with child. Against my better judgement but prudent at the time, I got a job at GEOS which went belly up 7 months later, and left me a homemaker in a small town.
Needless to say, the GEOS experience left a bad taste in my mouth considering I had moved my family to the town just for the job. But I feel I also may have expected too much from the Japanese here. As a young single foreigner travelling the country and world with far less responsibility and foresight, I understood the Japanese view of me as a free-spirit. In my heart I am. I also understood that they might be less apt to invest their energy in me because, after all, how long was I going to stay? Was I just there to make money, play around and then leave? And I admit, I was a pretty wild child.
Having returned married with children (my 2nd child was born 3 years ago), I didn't notice any difference in my interactions with Japanese. I expected that since I was infinitely more invested in Japan (with a family here) than previously, it would somehow be evident in my dealings with Japanese. No longer the free-wheeler, I was settled down. But I still felt I was treated as entertainment. That is, their interactions with me were superficial and usually to feed their curiousity which is understandable. It has become common for Japanese to ask to see pictures of my kids but I have never had a Japanese person reciprocate, that is to offer to show pictures of their own kids. (Sure, you could say they may have thought that I wasn't interested but common sourtesy would argue otherwise) I've been invited to cherry-blossom viewings and other events and been asked to please bring my wife and kids but upon arriving found that I was the only one there with family, everyone else had arrived without spouse or children. Those two examples come to mind, and I have been here long enough to know that 99% of my experiences have been fine. And we know that all it takes is one or two, or three bad experiences to temper one's expectations for a long time.
I'm trying to make the best of things. I study the language and can speak well enough to handle daily living. (though I must admit that regardless of how much I study, I find myself being asked the same questions asked twenty years ago. I think we all know the routine) This is the first time I've lived in the country and I must confess, I am a city person. Living in a fishbowl gets old after awhile. Has anyone else had similar experiences or is in a similar situation? Are my experiences out of the ordinary for foreigners who have decided to have a family in Japan? Any advice on how to fall back in love with the country I have adopted as my second home? Having lived in Japan for as long as I have, I feel I know Japanese fairly well, but I am new at raising a family here. Thanks for any advice in advance!
