I made a small mistake there. I meant to say subject not speaker, although the speaker is often times the subject the example I gave did not reflect that. I edited that part. With くれる the giver is always the subject, hence, the person above. The sister is giving and the mother, the recipient is below.
I am glad the explanation helped you this much!
Thank you for the amendment. I hope you don't mind that I've strayed from the original questions. I have a textbook that seems to say, in short, that あげる、さしあげる、くれる、くださる、もらう and いただく all involve the speaker or someone emotionally close to the speaker, either as a giver or a receiver.
Is 妹が母に本をくれました。intended as an exemplar of "speaker is neither the giver nor the receiver" or "receiver is part of the speaker's in-group"?
Do あげる、さしあげる、くれる、くださる、もらう and/or いただく get used in third-person reporting, like one would find in a news report, or book synopsis, such as "The fan gave his idol flowers."? Or perhaps do the textbook and other sources mean to say that, where the speaker or speaker's in-group is involved, those restrictions apply?
You brought up some quite important points here. First of all, what your textbook is talking about is probably the hierarchical upwards / downwards structure we've discussed. Let me add onto that. There is one set rule when it comes to this, we, the speaker, are ALWAYS below everybody else. Hence, if we want to give as the speaker we must use あげる or one of its relatives expressing upwards giving. Now, your in-group is also on the bottom with you, they are on your "side". The main difference lies in the perspective/viewpoint being taken, specifically in the use of くれる versus あげる:
本をくれました
Implies you're viewing the action from your mother's perspective (the receiver's side)
Indicates the action is coming toward your in-group (in this case, your mother)
Shows more emotional closeness to your mother (as you are both at the bottom)
More natural in this context since you're likely considering your mother as part of your in-group
くれる always indicates movement toward the speaker's side/group
本をあげました
Views the action from your sister's perspective (the giver's side)
More objective/neutral description of the giving action (a bit stiff or heavy)
Creates emotional distance from the situation (see reason below)
Less natural in this context when talking about your own family members (because the giving is directed upwards or away from you and your in-group)
あげる always indicates movement away from the speaker's position/group
Here's a clearer example to illustrate:
山田さんが私に本をくれました (correct)
山田さんが私に本をあげました (incorrect)
When you're the receiver, you must use くれる because the action is coming toward you, even though 山田さん is the subject. If you are giving you always use あげる.
News report context (neutral third-person reporting):
ファンがアイドルに花をあげました。
This is perfectly natural as objective reporting. As you are not involved with any of these people and it expresses sort of a distance between the fan and the idol (which makes sense).
However, compare this to personal context:
私のファン友達が私の推しに花をあげました。
Me and my friend are both in the same in-group hence the flower is given away from us (upwwards -> ageru)
Think of these scenarios:
- 推しがファンの私たちに花をくれた
(Our idol gave flowers to us fans)
✓ Makes sense: action is coming toward speaker's group (fans)
- 推しが私に手紙をくれた
(The idol gave me a letter)
✓ Makes sense: action is coming toward speaker
- 友達が推しに花をあげた
(My friend gave flowers to the idol)
✓ Makes sense: action is going away from speaker's sphere toward the idol
Does that make it a bit clearer?
